Hi Helen. Your blog is pretty interesting – it’s cool to see a different perspective on gender and transgender-ness. What pronouns do you use in every day life? If I’m gonna recommend your blog to someone, it feels nicer to use your normal pronouns than just pick one at random even if you’re not all that bothered.

Honestly whatever you feel comfortable with. In my everyday life people refer to me as she but I don’t expect it or need it. Thank you for being respectful enough to ask though xx

Thanks, Helen for responding so quickly. I’d quite like to engage you in discussion over it, but it’s not easy in a limited character space. Suffice to say: I agree with you that it is best to start with the biology where we can talk about real objective characteristics. What goes on in our heads is really only known to ourselves. When it comes to biology, how many changes do you need to make before the assertion “sex is immutable” becomes untenable? I suspect that science isn’t finished yet.

You’re welcome. Always happy to discuss things xx

Hi Helen! I’ve been in touch with Miranda. She suggested that I contact you directly in order to pick up on your statement that “‘Trans women are women’ is a vicious and dangerous lie.” Two questions (for starters) are “how do you define a woman” and “how do you define a transwomen”. I do empathise with much of what you wrote, but I get bogged down with terminology that gets conflated and means different things to different people.

for asking this. I think that they are really important questions. On the
surface they seem quite simple questions but once you start to look at the
implications we can start to understand what the real issues might be.

first question is about the definition of woman. A good place to start with
definitions is usually the dictionary.

An adult human female.

I don’t
think that the definitions of human or adult are in contention, but let’s look
at the dictionary definition of female.

This is interesting! Show me all of it...

Me again. I’ve been looking through your posts. On 15th May, you wrote this: “Young people are growing up with a sense of entitlement rather than a sense of shame and fear.” Of course they are, but does the older generation take that into account when considering young people with gender issues, or do they project their own histories on to them. I think that sentence is profound in understanding some of the issues involved in helping young people exhibiting symptoms of GD. Thank you! :)


I don’t remember the context of what I was saying here and I’m too lazy to look it up in a Sunday morning!

What you say about the older generation projecting their experience onto younger generations is certainly true.

Older generations experienced a lot of open transphobia and homophobia and as a result have internalised transphobia that is unresolved. I do often wonder if it is these experiences and resultant (and understandable and valid) insecurities that are being projected onto younger generations and creating this environment of insecurity juxtaposed with entitlement.

This is interesting! Show me all of it...

Here’s something from a trans man’s perspective: I am disgusted how genital dysphoria is silenced from the trans man experience, both in the mainstream media, pornified queer communities, and among trans people in general. I am bi, passing, genitally dysphoric, stealth, and date an effeminate cis gay man. I’d sooner die than be penetrated or preggo. The dominant view of trans men as “happy front hole fuckees/daddies” has kept our bottom surgery options from improving imo.

Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s really important to hear different voices. I wish you well xx