Does it matter?

This is a very personal, self indulgent post. It’s just about me. It’s not about the wider issues and it’s certainly not about class analysis. It’s a brain dump in an effort to make sense of myself.

I’ve written loads about what woman means, and about how transwomen aren’t women. I’m not and never will be female obviously, but fuck, you know sometimes maybe it’s appropriate to contextualise things in terms of the real world that we actually live in.

People argue about whether gender is innate or just a social construct and whilst this is really interesting and all that, in the real world that I actually inhabit gender is very much alive and well and the vast majority of people that I meet in real life (not on the internet) have absolutely zero concept of gender as a social construct. As far as they are concerned I clearly present as and live as a woman. And nobody gives a shit. I just get on with my life.

So yeah I’m transgender. Gender exists irrespective of whether it may be socially constructed or not. I’ve transitioned from living and presenting “as a man” to living and presenting “as a woman”. And it’s clear what that means if you actually reference it to the real world. That doesn’t mean that I believe that women should be defined by their appearance or socially constructed roles. And it doesn’t mean that I believe that I’m female. These things are not mutually exclusive.

I’m just looking to be at peace with myself. I no longer live with the cognitive dissonance of believing that I’m actually female or have a female brain, but I’m obviously still searching for peace or I wouldn’t write as much as I do.

I try not to be an entitled, male socialised misogynist. I attempt to assimilate as best as I can with the social group of women that I identify with. I just want to get on with my life without any fuss.

Sorry (not sorry).

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One thought on “Does it matter?

  1. In reality no it really does not matter. I believe everyone should do whatever makes them happy.

    Unfortunately people like yourself are being asked to define this again and again due to the (militant) actions of others. It is wrong that people are getting caught in the crossfire and honestly…this whole sex segregation thing didn’t cross anyones mind 5 years back. Its only since the misogynistic men (I say this on purpose, they are this) and rabid TAs started shouting on about a ‘feeling’ overruling biology in an attempt to get access to women only areas that a problem arose. I kinda feel women (or terfs as most of us are better known) have been pushed to HAVE to have harsher views recently. Where before..noone gave a fuck either way, even with changing rooms and such. The issue is being effectively told we must roll over and shut the hell up about it. Things worked fine before. But because men (I mean men, not transwomen) could not have their way, all of this shitstorm started. Its wrong, but I cannot see a way out of it.

    Loving your work by the way. Hope you are well 🙂

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