Respect, individuality and personal responsibility

I hate labels. I hate sides. I hate ideology and dogma. I believe in individuals. I believe in personal responsibility. I believe in equality and fairness. I am naive.

Women exist. Men exist. Transwomen exist. Trans men exist. Transvestites exist. Non binary people exist. These are over simplified labels and you can argue about labels, so really it’s just that people exist. Lots of them and we are all different. And that’s ok. It’s great in fact.

In society we have rules that dictate what is acceptable for males and females. The rules change over time, but the rules are there. Let me be clear that the rules are heavily and intentionally biased in favour of males and are undoubtedly used to oppress women. But these rules are damaging and dangerous to females and also to males.

I don’t care what labels you apply to me. What gender you consider me to be. What I expect is that I am treated with respect and compassion. I expect this for every human being on the planet.

Over the last few years I’ve seen amazing changes in public perceptions of transwomen. I really think that anything that breaks down prejudice is wonderful. I think this about all areas of prejudice, whether it’s race, religion, disability, sexuality, whatever. Prejudging and oppressing any individual based on a set of assumptions is wrong.

I live my life by a pretty simple set of rules. I can sum it up as “don’t shit on anyone”. Treat everyone with respect and compassion. Don’t harm others.

So you know what, if an individual transwoman believes that they are female and it gets them through the day and makes their life tolerable that’s none of my business. In the same way that if someone is religious and it helps them to make sense of their life, as long as it’s not affecting me it’s really none of my business.

If anyone uses their belief to harm others, possibly physically, but much more likely emotionally then I have a problem. But my problem is with that person and that action. And I’ll call that out.

If you disrespect somebody’s boundaries. If you belittle somebody for whatever reason, be it their religion, race, beliefs or whatever. If you use words with the intention of demeaning someone, whether it’s TERF, slut, dude, sir or anything else. If you assume you know somebody’s views, thoughts or intentions purely because of your prejudices about a group of people. If you put your needs above the needs of others at all costs. Basically if you shit on others then I will call it out.

Legislate against actions, not people.

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